How to Control Your Emotions (instead of being controlled by them)

It is possible to learn how to manage overwhelming emotions during the most difficult seasons of life.

Today, I want to talk about your emotions and what to do with them. First a quick story first. It was a regular day and nothing was special or out of the ordinary. I woke up to the sound of my boys, making breakfast in the kitchen. 

They recently learned how to make pancakes and they were asking to make them almost daily. This particular morning, I was really tired. So I was slow to get out of bed to help them or supervise. By the time I made it to the kitchen, it was a disaster. 

Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify

There was dried pancake mix all over the stove and syrup all over the table plus dirty dishes everywhere. I just couldn’t believe it! I so wish that I could tell you that I handled that moment with kindness and grace. I did not. I lost it. I yelled and screamed and I banned my boys from the kitchen forever. 

I was already so tired and I knew that there was no way that I was going to get all that mess cleaned up and still manage to get the rest of my to-do list done for the day. It was 8:30 in the morning and my whole day was already ruined. Can you relate to that? 

The truth is that in that moment I overreacted. My boys hadn’t broken any rules. They hadn’t set out to make my day miserable. They were hungry and were trying to help me out and save me time by fixing their own breakfast.

Yes, the kitchen was a mess, but they were just learning to cook and they hadn’t mastered the art of cleaning up as you go. The table was a sticky miss too, but that wasn’t because my kids were the worst creatures on the planet. 

They were kids and sometimes they forget to clean up when they’re done. That morning, I was already exhausted and stressed from all the different crises going on in our lives and I didn’t stop long enough to see the truth. 

Because I was already feeling overwhelmed, I jumped from zero to 1 million on the crazy mama scale. I’ve seen this in myself many times, as well as the women that I’ve worked with during my time as a life coach. 

Our emotions are all over the place and they tend to control us. We get angry, depressed, overwhelmed, and anxious but we don’t know what to do about it. Why do you feel so overwhelmed? Why do you explode? 

Well, the answer is quite simple. It’s because you need to take the time to see the truth of the situation. You believe lies. Things like “There’s no way this is going to work out. Things are always going to be hard. God doesn’t love me to give me what I long for. I don’t deserve to be blessed.”

Listen, these lies come straight from the enemy. He doesn’t want you to see the truth because he knows that as soon as you do his days of running you ragged are numbered. He likes to distract you with negative thoughts and overwhelming situations. 

Here’s the truth: You can overcome negative thinking through prayer and scripture. Now side note here, I’m not talking about someone struggling with mental illness. Yes, prayer and scripture can be effective, but sometimes you need a little more help and support, and there’s nothing wrong with getting that.

You can make it through overwhelming circumstances with sanity and peace. You have to learn to keep your eyes on God and remind yourself that he is in control. This is why you want to be sure that you know who he is. 

I want to share something with you that I often share with my coaching clients. Your circumstances  (good or bad) will trigger your thoughts, your thoughts dictate your feelings, your feelings influence your actions, and those actions lead to consequences, good or bad. 

Usually, there’s nothing or little that you can do about your circumstances. At that moment, you can have complete control over your thoughts. If you can learn to change your thoughts from negative to positive or from believing a lie to believing the truth there’s a ripple effect down to your feelings, your actions, and your consequences.

The question is then this, how can you change your thoughts? How can you control where your mind goes when something bad happens? I hinted at it in the story I shared with you. I talked about the fact that I was not seeing the truth of the situation and that’s what you have to do. 

You have to do what the Bible says, which is to take your thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. In simple terms, all that means is that you need to make sure that the things that you are thinking are in line with scripture. 

The first step is to identify the pattern of thoughts that are leading you down the path that you don’t want to be on. I want you to start paying attention to your thoughts and your emotions. Keep track of what you’re telling yourself about what’s going on in your life throughout the day. 

Do this over a week. Don’t spend a ton of time on it. 15 minutes a day is plenty to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and how you reacted. 

Make note of that and see if you can spot any patterns or thoughts that you think over and over because I know that there are some there. I guarantee that if you learn how to take your thoughts captive, you can have victory over them and not be controlled by those thoughts and emotions anymore.

Other Helpful Resources:

• When You Feel Too Overwhelmed to Pray
• How to Cope with Trauma as an HSP
• 7 Ways to Be Still and Listen To God’s Voice

Now that you know how to manage overwhelming emotions, you can have peace during the storms of life.