I was jealous and angry. I really wanted to be happy for my friend. She’d been through so much recently and she needed a break. I wanted to be happy for her but I also wanted to be happy for myself. I wanted to have some good news to share with others. A victory and an end to the pain that had defined my life for the past two years.
I wanted to just be happy for my friend but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it should’ve been me.
I was disappointed. And I had no idea how to handle disappointment as a Christian.
What was I supposed to do when someone else got the blessing that I had been praying for for so long? How could I rejoice with my friend over her freedom and success when I was still struggling?
Deep down I think the real thing I was struggling with was feeling like God had passed me over. That somehow my prayers weren’t heard, or worse, they were being ignored. I was hurting and in my pain, it was so hard to see anything else.
I just wanted the pain to end. How much longer would I have to wait and watch others get the blessings and rewards that my heart so desperately desired?
How to Handle Disappointment Biblically
Eventually, I was able to truly be happy for my friend but it took some serious soul-searching. In the end, I came to the realization that I was having such a hard time because my heart wasn’t in the right place. I wasn’t focusing my attention on the right thing.
Disappointment is never easy, but there are a few things to remember that will help you get through with some peace.
God is Sovereign
God is always in control. No matter what your situation. When things don’t go the way you want them to it’s easy to think that God is holding out on you somehow. That’s a lie. Knowing that God is on the throne is a source of comfort. He knows exactly what you need and how to get it to you.
If you feel disappointed by something that God is (or isn’t) doing, keep waiting. I’m sure He has something great planned for you!
Cast your Cares
What should you do with all those feelings? The easy answer is to give them to God.
I love to journal my thoughts and prayers. When I’m struggling with how to handle disappointments, I spend a lot of time writing it all out. I empty my head and my heart of all the things that are causing me pain. Once I have it all written out I’m able to see things a little clearer.
And I know that giving things over to God means I don’t have to worry about it anymore.
Practice Gratitude
A sweet friend invited me to be a part of a gratitude email accountability group. Every day we would email the group a list of all the things we were grateful for that day. I wasn’t able to keep up with emailing everyone daily, but I do keep a list in Evernote full of things that I’m grateful for each day.
Being able to pause and think about all the good things going on in my life (even during a trial) really helps my heart stay with the right attitude.
Keep Praying
One key to praying during trials is to just keep praying. When everything seems to go wrong, pray. When it seems everyone is getting blessed and answered prayers but you, pray. No matter what, keep praying. Keep trusting in God. In the end, you won’t be disappointed for long.
i felt the same way the whole week and to tell you the truth my faith were shaking everything went wrong this week and been unemployed so long praying for an open door feels like I’m being punish …i had a good cry but continues to pray despite my situation.Everyone got a break through ;I pray for everyone and they get it but mine get looked over
I’ve prayed to get pregnant since I was 24. I’m 40 now. I’ve had a steady stream of women who’ve experienced the gift I’ve prayed for, and still haven’t gotten. At 40, I know emphatically that God’s plan for doesn’t include pregnancy. This has been a struggle for many years. I’ve felt ignored, passed over, denied, defective, broken and left behind. I have struggled to cling to God. This article really hit home for me. Thank you.
Latoya, I so appreciate your post. Your practical tips are helpful. I’m like you. When I’m struggling with feelings, I find it therapeutic to journal my thoughts onto paper. There’s something about getting those words out of my head and onto the page (even when they’re “ugly”) that begins a healing in me, and helps me to see things with a better perspective.
Great post! I’m your neighbor at Jennifer Dukes Lee’s place today. :) Nice to “meet” you!
Latoya ~ These are wonderful reminders for how we can rise above disappointment! Thank you for pouring your soul out today to help us grow in the grace of God. Blessings to you!
Disappointment is hard. You have some great advice though – praying and practicing gratitude are great. And practice makes perfect, right? Well, moving in the right direction if not perfect.
Hi, Im popping over from the Rara linkup (purposefulfaith).
When I started reading, it felt like you were in my head and pouring my thoughts into words. So wonderful. Sometimes it does feel that way. The feeling sneaks up on my every now and then.
On the one hand, I am ecstatic over the friend or family with the good news, and inside, I am asking God “What about me? ” WWHen is will it be my turn to share with others?” You are right – God’s time is best and he is in total control. It is a trust thing :)
Thank you Latoya for your post, this is how I’ve been feeling for the last 10 years, I have experienced so many disappointments, stagnation and stuckness, also having to watch someone who had enmity towards me be blessed with all that I had prayed for and be happy for them, I tried to be happy for them but felt sad, and hurt for myself at the same time. I couldn’t understand why not me as well to be blessed. Felt that I was always cheering everybody else on, but no celebration for me. Kept asking God, when is going to be my turn/time. God knows us and our hearts, He also knows His plan for our lives, I just have to keep trusting the Lord that His plan is sovereign. and best.
I want to thank god for taking me to this wonderful group of healing the heart of his children which am happy to be one of them am grateful god