How do introverts make friends?

Here are 7 ways to meet people if you’re wondering how do introverts make friends.

Introverts often get a bad rap when it comes to people. I hear it all the time, “I know you don’t like people because you’re introverted”. I’ve even made that same joke myself. But that’s not true. Introverts love people. We love connections but sometimes struggle with making friends. So we’re going to talk about that today.

Relationships are a bit of a balancing act when you’re introverted, especially when you’re also highly sensitive. As an introvert, you love connection and going deep. You’re really great one-on-one which means you probably are not going to have a huge circle of friends.

You’ll have a core group that you’re close to, but how can you find those people? Another challenge is figuring out how to balance your need for solitude, rest, and downtime, with the benefits of community. You know that community is important because you were made to be in fellowship and community with other people.

When you’re walking through hard times it becomes even more important to have your people that you can go to, who can encourage you and support you, and who you can offer the same thing.

Today I thought it might be fun to take a look at some practical ways that you can make friends and begin to have those quality relationships that you want as an introvert. And have the connection and the community that’s going to sustain you through life.

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Tip #1: Be Patient and Persistent

My first tip is to be to be patient, but also persistent. Building relationships takes time, especially as an adult. It’s not like you’re on the playground and whoever you meet is instantly our best friend. It doesn’t work like that anymore. It’s going to take time.

You want it to take time because you truly want to get to know people. You want to reveal more and more about yourselves to each other over time, and that requires patience. So, be patient with yourself and be patient with others.

We’re all busy and in different seasons of life. Just because a friendship doesn’t take or get super deep right away doesn’t mean that it’s not worth the effort. This is where being persistent comes in. Don’t get discouraged with the journey. It can be awkward or slow going at first.

Relationships ebb and flow. Your energy is going to ebb and flow. You’ll have times when you have more energy to invest and times when you have less. Stay focused on it and keep at it because consistency and patience will help you develop those lasting friendships and build community so you can have genuine connections with other people.

Are you a highly sensitive, introverted woman who feels overwhelmed by your emotions? Processing your feelings and learning to embrace your sensitivity can be challenging. But what if you didn’t have to navigate this journey alone? Take the first step towards peace. Book your Feel Your Feelings coaching session today!

Tip #2: Find a Place to Volunteer or Serve

Tip number two: volunteer somewhere. Getting involved in service projects and volunteering is a great, fun way to get to know new people. If you’re not meeting new people, it’s really hard to make new friends.

When you are serving and volunteering, it’s great because the focus is not on you. You can talk about the job at hand, which makes small talk (something introverts don’t really like) easier. It takes that pressure off because you have something to focus on.

You can talk while you’re working, which is a great way to have those foundational conversations where you’re getting to know people and looking for ways that you can connect deeper.

Another reason volunteering is great is because, generally speaking, the people you’re serving with probably have the same values and interests as you. Which is great for building strong foundations for relationships and friendships.

Volunteering is a great way to give you some sense of purpose. If you are struggling through a hard time, one of the best things you can do is look for ways to help someone else. It takes the focus off your struggles and pain and is a great way to build those meaningful connections.

Tip #3: Quality Over Quantity

Next is to embrace quality over quantity. As an introvert, you won’t have a large number of friends. Especially not those deep, close friendships but you can have great quality in your relationships. You are not going to have the energy to go deep with every single person that you meet.

Instead, focus on what you are strong at, what you thrive on, which is deep connections, and find comfort in knowing that you have quality relationships and community. That might be smaller in number, but it’s going to serve you better. It’s going to give you more encouragement, more support. You’re going to be able to open up and go deeper with those people than you would trying to have deep, close relationships with 30 people.

Tip #4: Common Interests

Next tip: find common interests. I hinted at this when we talked about volunteering. Finding things you have in common is a great way to begin making connections. You could join a club. Do you play sports, find a grown-up sports league or sports club.

Look for classes related to your hobbies and passions. Do you go to the gym? There could be people that you’re working out with regularly that you might want to make a deeper connection with.

Like to paint or dance? Sign up for a class. A walking club or a hiking club might be a great fit if you enjoy being outdoors. Think about what you already like to do on your own and try finding a group that does the same thing.

A small group at church can be a great place to find friends and build deeper connections. You have that connection point which makes it easier to have conversations.

You don’t have to do the surfacy small talk too much, because you already know that there’s a connection there and that will then lead to more meaningful and genuine friendships and then you can begin to have deeper and deeper and deeper community.

Tip #5: Play to Your Strengths

The next tip is to take advantage of your strength when it comes to one-on-one interaction. As an introvert, I am terrible in groups. I can be in a group and I can do it, but it’s exhausting and it’s taxing and I don’t like it. I’m amazing one-on-one and that’s just a gift and a strength of being an introvert.

Instead of trying to do everything in a group, try to focus on one-on-one interactions, like coffee dates. Go for a walk or a casual lunch. Find a more intimate situation in a more intimate setting so you can relax and be more yourself and get to know someone better.

It may seem like I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth, but I promise I’m not. Suppose you are out volunteering, joining clubs, and being involved in groups that have common interests. You will begin to identify people that you are really making connections with that you want to get to know better and hang out with.

Within those smaller groups, you can find people to start to have one-on-one interactions with. It’s kind of like dating. You might meet a bunch of people and connect with one person, so then you want to date that one person.

Friendships work the same way, So focus on building those one-on-one connections and please don’t try to be one-on-one with every single person. Pace yourself so that you don’t get exhausted and you don’t get burnout.

Tip #6: Use Technology

Our next tip here is to use technology wisely. We are in the age of all things tech and it can be a blessing and a curse. You can use social media, forums, and messaging apps to find your people and to make initial connections.

Some of my closest friends, I’ve never met in person only connected online. If you’re struggling with finding groups in person, go online and see where you can find people who have shared values and shared interests.

Tech is a great way to maintain your friendship because it’s a low-pressure environment to communicate. I can text back and forth a lot easier than I can hop on a phone call, because being on a phone is super exhausting, especially if we’re going deep.

I love that, but I only have so much bandwidth for it. But I can stay in touch with my friends by sending quick text messages.

Tip #7: Remember Boundaries and Self-Care

The last tip is to set boundaries and prioritize self-care. You want to put forth the effort and the energy to make friends, to build community, and to make those connections. But you need to remember that you need alone time, you need time to recharge, and you need time to rest.

Don’t be afraid to decline invitations. You don’t have to go to everything you’re invited to in order to make friends. And, my favorite thing: don’t be afraid to leave early. If you have hit your max, if you start to feel overwhelmed or it’s too much, if you get there and realize that you just can’t handle a large group — go home.

It’s okay to leave early because you want to prevent burnout or not be exhausted as you are interacting with other people. If you have boundaries and take care of yourself, then you’re going to make sure that you are fully present and engaged with others. You can show up as your best, authentic self. And when you show up as your true self, that is the best way to find fulfilling and lasting friendships.

7 Ways to Make Friends as an Introvert