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The Secret to Hearing From God

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I needed answers.

I wasn’t used to hearing from God but I knew that if I was going to continue to grow during my trials I needed to have my ears tuned to that still small voice. There were times that I thought I heard Him speak to me, but honestly, I wasn’t sure.

In the past, there were times that I was sure I heard from the Lord, but I was wrong.

Looking back, I realize that I wasn’t taking the time to actually hear. I was depending on other people to hear for me. I learned the hard way how dangerous that is.

Several bad relationships had led me to a place where I really didn’t trust myself. It happens with abuse victims. You are controlled for so long and you are told that you are crazy for so long that you eventually start to believe it. I mean, when church leaders and half a congregation all have such nice things to say about a person it must be God speaking, right?

I was wrong. But as I began to heal and grow, I was determined to learn to hear from God. I knew that He wanted to talk to me so I decided that I needed to learn how to listen.

3 Secrets to Hearing from God

I remember asking my spiritual mentor how I could know if I was hearing from God. She is so sweet and patient with me and my sometimes childish questions. She encouraged me to be still and listen. And to test anything that I thought I was hearing with scripture.

So I began to search for an answer to my question and came across this verse:

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27 NLT

That verse confirmed what my mentor shared with me: The key to hearing from God is learning to listen. But there’s more to it than that.

Hearing from God Means You Know Him

One of the reasons God allows suffering is to be in a closer relationship with us. The only way to get to know God is spend time in prayer, Bible reading and study, and other spiritual disciplines. There’s no way for me to understand the true character of God if I don’t learn all that I can about Him.

My boys are with me all the time so they know me. They know what I approve of and what I don’t. They know how to approach me to ask for something and they know when I mean business.

We need to know all those things about our Heavenly Father.

Hearing from God Means He Knows Us

If you’ve been a parent for any amount of time, I bet you can recognize your child’s voice in a crowd. You know what they like and don’t like. You can tell when they need to take a break or a nap.

God knows all our hurts and pains. He knows what we struggle with and what we need to face. Ultimately He knows what’s best for us. And because He knows us we can trust that He hears us when we call or cry out.

Hearing from God Means Following Him

I think this is the hardest part. Hearing from God and obeying what He says is not the same thing. The Bible is full of people who heard from the Lord but still chose to disobey.

I don’t believe that God speaks because He likes the sound of His own voice. He speaks because He wants to talk with us. He wants to have a relationship with us. To lead and guide us through His perfect plan. Knowing this about God should make it easier to follow.

I am learning to listen and I hear from God often. It’s always a good day when God speaks to me. In my experience, it’s always exactly what I need to hear even when I don’t know it yet.

If you are struggling to hear from God or to be sure that you are hearing from Him, keep seeking. Keep praying and keep learning to be quiet in His presence. He will speak to you. 

Why Knowing Who You Are Is Essential for Victory

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The first step in finding victory through prayer during hard times is understanding your identity in Christ.

Have you ever wondered why you can’t seem to catch a break?

Sometimes we hit seasons where the hard times just don’t let up. They keep coming and coming and coming until we think we can’t take anymore. And then something else happens. I want to tell you something I’ve learned over the years: the reason the devil keeps attacking you is because you keep getting back up.

He knows that you have the potential to do some serious damage to his plans. And his job is to stop you before you realize how much power you truly have.

Listen, you are a daughter of the King! There is nothing He has that He will not give if you simply go to Him and ask. If you are walking through a hard time and can’t seem to get peace or victory, it could be that you don’t understand who you are and what that means.

You know who does know exactly who you are? Satan. And it’s his mission to keep you confused about who you are.

Identity is key to victory.

Why Your Identity in Christ Matters

Your identity comes from your Heavenly Father. The Bible tells us that God knows exactly who we are before we are even born. When it comes to knowing who you are, there’s only one question you need to ask yourself: Who does God say I am?

But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 NLT

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. Psalm 139:14 NLT

If you listen to these commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom. Deuteronomy 28:13 NLT

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8:37-38

Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. Luke 10:19 NLT

Those are just a few verses to get you started. Spend some time searching the scriptures to see what God has to say about who you are. Read the verses, memorize them, and then stand on all the promises that belong to you as a daughter of the King!

Here’s a short list of the things you can do when you understand your identity in Christ:

  1. Battle the lies of the enemy
  2. Manage your emotions when they try to overtake you
  3. Dream and hope for a prosperous future
  4. Heal from any hurt that you’ve suffered
  5. Forgive others when they sin against you
  6. Tell the devil where to go and how to get there

When you embrace your identity in Christ you become unstoppable. There is nothing Satan can throw at you that you can’t defeat with the truth. You never have to wonder if God is really listening to your prayers or if He will really give you the desires of your heart.

God is a good Father. He loves you and only wants what’s best for you. Is there something that you need right now? Go boldly to your Father’s throne and ask Him for it!

3 Ways Satan wants to Destroy you During a Crisis

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Inside: During hard times you need to understand how Satan attacks so you know how to pray against his schemes.

Shivers run down my back at the memory. The look on his face. The way he looked at me but didn’t see me.  The slight smirk on his face. And the instant dismissal of my feelings.

I have looked evil in the face. Survived manipulation and control.

Life is hard on a good day when someone thrives on making you feel crazy and less-than. I struggled to ground myself in truth. Second guessing every single choice and decision.

I couldn’t trust my own mind. My thoughts betrayed me. My emotions overwhelmed me day after day.

I met with accusation after accusation from my abuser and anyone that he was able to trick into believing his version of the truth. All of his energy went into ruining my reputation.

In his reality, I was the destructive one and the one with the problems. He was the victim.

You may not have walked through the pain and heartache of abuse, but if you are a child of the King Satan’s sole purpose is to accuse you of any and everything he can think of.

The enemy of your soul. Make no mistake, he wants to see you destroyed.

Uncover 3 Ways the Enemy Wants to Destroy You

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Part of learning to turn to prayer during hard times is being able to recognize the different schemes and attacks of the devil. The Bible tells us Satan is a thief whose sole purpose is to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10).

One reason God allows suffering is to bring us into a closer relationship with Him. Satan tries to use our suffering to drive a wedge between God and us. Why? Because he knows the only way we are going to defeat him is with God’s help.

Satan doesn’t want that.

If you are going to find peace and healing you have to learn to overcome these spiritual attacks. Here are three ways the devil tries to hinder you during hard times:


#1 Satan Attacks by Preventing Your Spiritual Growth

Pain can be paralyzing. When things are so bad that you don’t know what to do, it can be very tempting to stop doing anything. Satan knows if he can get you to stop growing closer to God, you will never be able to defeat him.

He will lie to you and tell you there’s no point in reading your Bible because it doesn’t apply to your situation. He will try to convince you that you are so sinful and have made so many mistakes it’s not possible for God to ever bless you in any way.

Your strength during hard times comes from God. You find the faith you need by seeking to know more about Him. Satan’s attacks will often be aimed at keeping you from getting to know the truth.

#2 Satan Attacks Your Character and Reputation

During the process of getting free from my abuser, I had a hard time getting help from all the “right people.” My church was not a safe place for me.

The leaders there had known my abuser long before I started attending so they took everything he said and did as gospel. He even convinced people I’d never met that I was the Wicked Witch of the West.

Watching my reputation get ruined over things I did not do was heartbreaking. I already felt I’d lost so much and this was one more thing to add to the list.

Along with my reputation, my character was under attack.

I often struggle to keep it all together when times get hard. I get angry and frustrated easily. I snap at my friends and family and push people away.

Satan loves this because it leads to more isolation and makes me an easier target.

If you are suddenly facing people questioning the core of who you are, don’t fret. God will vindicate and redeem you! I have had people I didn’t even know contact me to apologize for their sins against me and for believing the lies they were told.

Christians are known by their actions. When the temptation to act ugly comes, recognize it as an attack and resist it.

#3 Satan Attacks Your Faith in God

The longer I’m in a trial the harder I begin to pray. I get so desperate for God to move in my circumstance I find myself waking up in the middle of the night in prayer. This is a good thing!

When God seems silent or things seem to take a little longer than I hope, Satan tries to exploit that. He wants to magnify doubt and worry so we will stop believing God will keep His promises to us.

Satan knows if he can get us to believe the lie that God won’t come through, he can get us to stop praying. If we stop praying, he knows he can weaken our faith. And when our faith is weak, Satan can run amuck.

Remember, when Satan starts attacking you, you are on the right path. He only attacks people he knows are dangerous to his mission.

You have to look evil in the face and refuse to back down until you are free!

Why We Go Through Hard Times

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Have you ever wondered why God allows suffering?

The hardest part about going through hard times is watching the hurt and pain that my children suffer. Working through my own fears and doubts was a lot of work but it was nothing compared to the heartache I felt over my sweet babies. They had done nothing to deserve what happened to them. Knowing that my foolish choices opened the door to their pain was something I struggled with for a very long time.

Sometimes bad stuff happens. Even to the innocent. As I tried to make sense of all the pain, I was left with one question for God: Why?!

That one word echoed in my heart and mind all day long. My soul screamed at God. I was prepared to face the consequences of my sin and poor choices but my children were where I drew the line. I was confused, frustrated, and a little angry. I wanted to know why.

Why did I have to watch my boys’ hearts break every single day?

Why did I have to stand by while they were hurt over and over?

Why didn’t God step in and keep them safe from all of this?

With clenched fists, tears streaming down my face, and my heart racing I demanded an answer from God. And He answered.

3 Reasons God Allows Us to Suffer

The Bible tells us that Job demanded an answer from God as well. He lost almost everything: his children, his servants, his cattle, and his health. His friends and wife were of no help to him as he suffered. If you have ever been at a point where you felt you had nothing left to lose, I bet you can relate to Job.

That night as I lay on my bedroom floor worn out from screaming and crying I felt God whisper to the deep aches in my heart and soul. It was both comforting and convicting, but definitely something I needed to hear.

God Allows Suffering to Make Us Aware of our Sin

When things start going wrong in my life I usually start asking myself if there’s anything I did that put me in that situation. Often, if I take enough time to search my heart, I find that my sinful choices or desires have led me down a dangerous path.

I believe this is one reason God allows suffering. Sometimes the only way to get us to stop and take a good look at ourselves is to allow some hard things to come into our lives. God does not do this to make us feel bad about ourselves. He does this because He knows that in order for us to continue to grow spiritually, we need to repent and let go of sins that threaten to hold us back.

God Allows Suffering to Show Us We Can’t Do This Alone

I’m a big advocate of community, especially when times get tough. I can’t tell you the number of times I have needed my fellow sisters to hold me up when I couldn’t form the words to pray for myself.

So many times I found myself on the verge of giving up when a text or email gave me enough hope to get me through the rest of the day.

When things get tough it can be very tempting to isolate yourself. Resist that temptation. God made us to be in fellowship with each other. It makes us strong and keeps us in the fight. The moment things become more than you can bear, reach out to someone. Let them know you need prayer!

God Allows Suffering to Bring Us Closer to Him

Ultimately, I believe that God is after a deeper relationship with us. And He often uses hard times to get our attention. When things are going great we are not so quick to turn to Him. But when trials come, they often drive us to our knees in search of answers and comfort.

I believe that my little tantrum was exactly the moment God had been waiting for. When I was finally done trying to fix everything and done trying to make sense of the mess. In that moment, as I screamed at the heavens, I was finally ready to lay that burden down where it belonged… at the foot of the cross.

When we finally surrender the need for control and give it over to God, He gets to do what He does best. And that’s a great place to be. Safe in His arms.

Why Your Prayers Aren’t Working

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Inside: Have you ever questioned if prayer really works? Here are 3 things to consider if you feel like your prayers aren’t working.

I was frustrated and confused after spending some time in prayer that morning. If I’m honest, I’d been feeling that way for about a month. I knew that something just wasn’t right. Prayer is supposed to leave me feeling peace and strength, not desperate and alone.

I had been seeking God for something very specific for almost a year and I just didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere with Him. I knew that perseverance was a huge part of prayer during hard times but this was something that I just couldn’t wrap my brain around.

My prayers were not working and I wanted to know why.

Maybe you can relate …

You’ve spent time crying out to God telling Him all your hurts and pain. You’ve been reading your Bible, fasting, and embracing community as you wait for God to deliver you. But something just doesn’t fit. It’s more than not wanting to wait on God. You actually find yourself wondering if He is listening to you at all.

3 Obstacles to Being Effective in Prayer During Hard Times

There are often 3 things that stand in the way of a breakthrough and effective praying:

  1. Lack of knowledge about who God is
  2. Lack of knowledge about who the enemy is and how he works
  3. Not understanding who you are as a daughter of the King

When we don’t know who God is then we cannot understand why He allows suffering. We also don’t understand why He is the key to our victory and healing. God is all mighty. He has the power and the authority to do anything that you ask! He has all that you need. He is the answer. He is ABBA: the source of all righteousness and goodness.

In our darkest moments, we can give too much power to the enemy. Yes, he wants you to suffer and will use your pain and hurts to attack you. But he is not more powerful than God (or you). The devil has no new tricks up his sleeve. He has been telling the same lies for eternity. Learn to spot his tricks so you don’t fall prey to the traps.

You must know and embrace your identity in Christ. As a daughter of the King, you have access to His power. You have authority over the enemy. That is why he attacks and distracts because he doesn’t want you to realize this truth. You can defeat the devil. Run to the source; cast your cares! Put your armor on and stomp on the devil.

Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Luke 10:19 ESV


Four Stages of Spiritual Growth During Hard Times

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Prayer during hard times is key to spiritual growth. If you are going to make it through your trial it’s going to take every ounce of faith you have. There will be days when you want to quit, days when you think you are going to lose your mind, and days when you are sure you have reached your limit.

As long as we are on this side of heaven there will be trials and hard times. God is always there but sometimes we feel alone on the journey.

I have personal experience walking through each of these four stages of spiritual growth. The times I’ve spent in prayer during hard times have been the seasons where my faith grew the most. It has not been easy but it has always been well worth the pain and struggles. I like to think of this journey like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly.

I’m going to use the life cycle of a butterfly to describe each of the stages of spiritual growth. Let’s see where you may be in your journey.

Before the Journey Begins

You are living life unaware of how hard things really are. Yes, you are struggling with a few things but that’s just a part of life. One day you are doing just fine and the next a spilled cup of cereal sends you over the edge. It’s like the rug has been pulled out from under you and you never saw it coming.

This is typically the point where you begin to try to fix things for yourself. Things can’t really be all that bad; it’s just a bad day or week. If you just figure out where you went wrong then you can correct it and get back on course. There’s just one problem. The more you try to make things right the worse they get.

This is usually the point where you realize you are in over your head. You know that you need to focus on praying during this hard time but you aren’t sure where to start. You aren’t sure how to pray or if God is even listening. You spend a lot of time telling God that you’re giving things over to Him but you also spend just as much time taking them back.

Eventually, you get to the point where you just can’t take it anymore. There’s nothing more you can do so you give up. When you reach your breaking point that’s when God can finally step in and take over.

This is when the journey from despair to deliverance begins.

STAGE ONE: ARISE

(CATERPILLAR EGGS ARE LAID)

This stage is hard. It involves a complete shift in mindset. You have to stop believing the lies about yourself, God, and the enemy. You’ll spend a lot of time crying and questioning everything that you thought you knew about God and His plans for you. This is a great time to start journaling. Write down everything you think you know about God, yourself, the enemy, and your circumstance. Then start reading what the Bible has to say about each one.

I remember when I first started to really understand who God is and what that meant for me and my situation. I was frustrated at all the things I didn’t know. I was angry about the abuse I’d gone through and all the lies I’d been fed about myself and my God. That anger fueled my desire for the truth. The more I learned, the more peace and strength I gained.

When a butterfly lays its eggs you can already see the caterpillar inside. It hasn’t hatched yet but you can already see what it will become. The eggs are also laid on a leaf so that they have what they need to grow when they hatch.

This is the stage where you need to embrace your identity as a prayer warrior. I know that you may not feel like a warrior but you are. You already have everything you need to make it through this trial. God has already equipped you with the weapons you need to win this war.

STAGE TWO: GROW

(THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR)

This stage is characterized by a lot of spiritual growth and biblical disciplines. Once you embrace your identity as a prayer warrior you are ready to learn the basics on prayer during hard times. This is when you need to be in the Word daily, reading, studying and memorizing scripture. This is when you need to be praying daily and reaching out to your community. 

Caterpillars don’t stay in this stage for very long. All they do is eat and eat and eat. Preparing for the time when they begin to transform into a butterfly.

I couldn’t get enough of God during this time in my journey. I wanted to read and pray and be in church all the time. The more I learned about God the more I wanted to learn. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. I began to dig really deep into the Truth and I finally started to feel free.

Learning how to study the Word for myself meant that no one could ever use scripture to control or abuse me ever again. Memorizing verses meant that I could stand up to the enemy when he tried to paralyze me with fear. Being a part of a community meant that I was no longer isolated and alone. I found my strength. I found my voice. And I found my fight.

STAGE THREE: FIGHT

(CATERPILLAR GOES INTO A CHRYSALIS AND BEGINS TO TRANSFORM)

I’m going to be really honest here and tell you that stage three is hard. I read somewhere that when a butterfly goes into its chrysalis it has to completely liquify itself as part of the transformation. It becomes completely undone and unrecognizable before it becomes beautiful.

This is the stage where you have to really put up or shut up. Are you going to believe God and stand on His Word or are you going to quit?

This is when you have to face all your demons and doubts. This is when you have to learn to take every thought captive and manage your emotions for good. You have to face your fears, doubts, and feelings of overwhelm and shame.

When things seem to go from bad to worse you have to keep trusting and keep standing. You have to remember all the things you learned in stages one and two. They will carry you through this hard stage. In my experience, stage three lasts the longest. But it’s also where you will see the most growth.

STAGE FOUR: DREAM

(Butterfly Emerges and Flies Away)

This is the stage where you can start to breathe a little. You may still be in the middle of your trial but you are confident that you will have the victory. You know who you are and whose you are. You have conquered your emotions and battled doubts. At this point, you are at peace knowing that God is in control.

You are ready to start dreaming and hoping again! And the sky is the limit. You are not afraid to ask God for the impossible because you know that with Him all things are possible.

My favorite part about this stage is being able to encourage others. Sharing your testimony is a great way to help those who are in the first three stages to keep pressing in and holding on. You can show others how prayer during hard times is key to spiritual growth and victory.

What stage are you in?

3 Things you Need to Know to Get Started with Prayer

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Inside: When you are sure how to find the answers you need from God these 5 books on prayer will help you get started.

I was drowning in my troubles and I had no idea how I was going to make it through. Every time I reached out to someone for help I was told the same thing: You just need to pray. I knew that already. And I had been doing the best I could, but I knew deep down it wasn’t good enough. I needed to do better.

I knew deep down that I needed to pray like I had never prayed before. But I didn’t really know the first thing about prayer. I mean, I knew that I could talk to God about anything I wanted. I’d memorized the Lord’s Prayer as a child but I felt like I needed more.

How could I know exactly what I needed to pray for?

How could I be sure that I was in God’s will?

How would I recognize God’s answer when it came?

All these questions and more plagued me constantly. I believed that I was born to be a prayer warrior but I had no idea what that meant or what it looked like. So I did the only thing I knew how to do–I started reading up on prayer. I’m going to share a few of my top picks for books on prayer but first I want to share a few basic things with you.

3 Things You Need to Know About Prayer

1. Prayer is expected

Scripture is clear that we are to pray. Thessalonians tells us to pray without ceasing. Jesus spent a lot of time in prayer and He even taught the disciples how to pray.

Prayer is not a burden, or something to simply check off our to-do list. It’s a privilege. As children of God we have direct access to Him through prayer.

2. Prayer can be learned

For a long time I felt like I was not good enough to pray. I didn’t know what to say, how to say it, or how long to say it for. I have learned that it’s possible to learn how to pray.

You can read books, study scripture, and follow the examples of others around you.

3. Prayer is always answered

God always answers our prayers. Sometimes He says yes, other times He says no. Often He says nothing, which means we need to continue to wait on Him. As a daughter of the King you are always heard!

5 Books on Prayer to Get You Started

If you are struggling with your prayer life in any way, here are 5 books on prayer to help you get started in the right direction.

Girls with Swords: How to Carry Your Cross Like a Hero: If you struggle to understand the power that you have through prayer as a Christian woman you NEED this book! God has given us all the tools we need to fight against the enemy; we just need to learn how to use them.

Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan to Serious, Specific and Strategic Prayer: This book will help you create a plan of attack for different areas of your life that the enemy tries to get at. This is more than a good read; each chapter ends with you writing out your own prayers.

Waging Prophetic Warfare: Effective Prayer Strategies to Defeat the Enemy: If you are not familiar with spiritual warfare then you may be missing out on all the ways you can stomp all over the enemy. This book will show you some specific and key ways to pray your way to victory.

Prayer Portions: Understanding who God is, is the key to finding victory through prayer. This book will help you learn and study different names of God in a way that will radically change your faith walk.

The Hour that Changes the World: A Practical Plan for Personal Prayer: Do you have a hard time praying for a long time? This book lays out a practical plan for praying for one hour each day.


Do you have a favorite book on prayer?

Why You Need to Fast and Pray

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Is fasting something you do on a regular basis?

For the past year, my church has been having regular fasting days at the end of every month. The last Tuesday-Thursday of each month was dedicated to prayer and fasting as a church body.

I also am part of a community of women who spend one day in prayer and fasting each month.

At the end of each fasting period, there have been many testimonies of God’s provisions and victories.

“He answered, “Because of your little faith [your lack of trust and confidence in the power of God]; for I assure you and most solemnly say to you, if you have [living] faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and [if it is God’s will] it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. [But this kind of demon does not go out except by prayer and fasting.]” Matthew 17:20-22 AMP

Let me ask you again. Do you fast on a regular basis?

Fasting is a way to remind us that we need to be totally dependent on God for all things. Every time you feel hungry during a fast, that is a prompt to keep praying. That is a reminder that you are human and are in need of a mighty God.

Esther called for a fast before pleading for the lives of her people. God granted her an amazing victory and the people were saved!

Are you in need of divine provision and protection? Do you need God’s guidance? Looking for a way to express grief or repentance? Do you need a breakthrough like yesterday?

Maybe you need to go on a fast.

Fasting is very personal. How long and what to fast from are really between you and God. But here are a few general principles to get you started.

Have a purpose for fasting

It’s important to know why you are fasting. Otherwise, you won’t make it. There are many reasons to fast. If you aren’t sure of your why, here are a few things to consider:

  • to strengthen your prayers
  • to ask God for direction
  • to express grief/repentance
  • to ask for deliverance or protection
  • to be humble before the Lord
  • to overcome temptation


Set a length

The Bible is full of fasts of varying lengths of time.  There is no right or wrong length to a fast. Often your circumstances and purpose will dictate the length of your fast. Here are some options:

  • set numbers of days (7, 14, 40)
  • a consistent day each month (every Monday, the last Friday, etc)
  • fasting until you get what you are seeking from God

Choose your type of fast 

Traditionally a fast means no food. But there are times when going without food isn’t possible. If you have health problems or if you are pregnant/nursing, here are some things that have worked for me in the past:
  • dedicating a specific time to prayer and silence before God
  • media fast
  • fasting from negative thoughts
  • no sweets (or your favorite treat)

What is your biggest struggle when it comes to fasting?

3 Ways to Find Joy in Your Trial

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I enjoy my life as a single mom. I know that may seem like an odd statement, but it is true.

In the beginning of this journey I focused on all the negatives. I would look around my home and only see the empty chairs and broken promises. I would watch as other children enjoyed time with both their parents and ache for the lack of that in my boys’ lives. It was really hard in the beginning.

And honestly, it’s not that things have gotten easier for me on this journey. I’ve just had a change in perspective.

Over the last 10+ years I have learned that the key to finding joy in your situation is all about perspective. When I spent all my time looking at all the things I didn’t have or things I wished I had, I missed out on all the good stuff that was right there in front of me. The moment I decided to look at things with fresh eyes I was able to start trading my heartache for hope and happiness!

3 Ways to Find Joy in Your Trial

Your Children

I really struggled with embracing the idea that I was a single mom. It was not something I ever dreamed of becoming and it just didn’t feel like it fit me. The problem was that I was hanging my identity on the word “single” and I was ignoring the mom part.

It took me a while but I finally learned the importance of finding my identity in Christ and focusing on the blessings in my life instead of the hard circumstances. I’m not going to tell you that life won’t have challenges, but remember to enjoy your children.

Don’t miss out on the joy of raising them (and enjoying them) because you are so focused on the lack in your life.

God’s Provision

I have been completely blown away by all the different ways that God has provided for us since becoming a single mom. There have been meals, gift cards, clothes, a place to stay when we were homeless, and more!

Every time I thought things were as bad as they could get, God stepped in and worked a miracle. I know it can be hard to remember in those dark moments, but God has not forgotten about you!

Give people the opportunity to bless your family. Let them show you the love of God here on earth! Knowing that people are there for you and in your corner is a great way to find joy in your situation.

You are NOT Alone!

I have sat in church brokenhearted over the empty seat in the pew. I watched at the playground as fathers chased their boys around the jungle gym and pushed their little girls on the swings. I have felt the ache of hopelessly watching beautiful pregnant mamas walk around with life growing in their bellies.

No one understands you. No one is there for you. You are all alone! 

The lies whispered often to our hearts are just that. Lies.  We have to battle against the darkness of loneliness by telling Satan to shut up and get out of our way. Because the truth is that we are not alone!

If you are struggling with feeling alone right now, I want to encourage your weary heart.  It can be very hard to stand up against this lie but you can do this!

In my darkest moments, I can also find comfort in the pages of my Bible. Those years of loneliness are no different. Here’s a few to get you started:

  • Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
  • For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in. Psalm 27:10
  • Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Psalm 25:16
  • So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
  • He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
  • A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

I like to write out scriptures on index cards and keep them close to me.  I also keep a list in my prayer journal and notebook. If you need to, say them out loud! Don’t be afraid to yell at Satan from time to time. Throw the Truth at him and he will flee!

God is not surprised by your circumstance. He knows exactly where you are, what you are going through, and how He will walk with you through the trial. He will provide all that you need and in ways that you cannot even imagine!

3 Reasons to Pray for Your Enemies

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“Lord, please don’t let my husband die today.”

For a long time those were the only prayerful words I could muster for my now ex-husband. I was hurt and angry and didn’t really want to pray for him. But a sweet lady at church asked me to and I wanted to be obedient to the request.

For a long time I struggled to pray for him. I didn’t want anything good to happen to him. After all the pain I’d been through, the last thing I wanted to do was ask God to bless him. If you’ve been a single mom for any length of time I’m sure you can relate.

It’s been many years since I struggled to pray that first sentence, but now I have no problem praying for my ex. In fact, I pray for him just about every single day. Why? Well, I learned that it was important that I pray for the father of my children.

3 Reasons to Pray For Your Enemies

1. They may be hurting too

We live in a fallen and sin-filled world. Everyone is hurting and struggling with something. And often because of this, we sin against other people.  This does not mean that it becomes okay for someone to keep sinning against you. It means you recognize that they are a person who needs salvation and healing.

2. It will help you heal and forgive

Over the years I have learned that it is hard to stay mad at someone you are praying for. Taking the time to pray for someone is a way to show that you care about them as a person. And God will use this to help you learn to forgive and to help heal the hurts you are feeling.

Forgiveness is a choice. You decide to forgive the hurt someone has caused you in order to be free from the bonds of anger and bitterness. As long as you are focusing on the wrong someone has done to you, there’s no way to move forward or heal. You have to make up your mind to forgive no matter what is going on.

I do want to point out forgiveness does not equal amnesia.  Abuse (in any form) is one of those times when we need to forgive but not forget. Forgive the sin so that you won’t be held in bondage to bitterness but don’t forget their actions.

If you are in an abusive marriage (or are healing from one) can I encourage you to consider that it’s time to stop praying for them? 

3. It sets a good example for your children

Children love their parents no matter what. Even if they feel hurt and abandoned, they still love mom and dad. Praying with my children for their dad was a way I could let them know it was okay to feel that way. I didn’t want them growing up thinking they couldn’t talk about their father or enjoy their time with him.

If you aren’t a single mom, I bet there is some relationship in your life that’s not where it needs to be. Your children are watching what you do when you are upset and hurt. They are watching to see if you really mean what you say.

Do you struggle to pray for those who hurt you?