Why Does God Allow Pain and Suffering?

Wondering why god allows pain and suffering? Let’s talk about it.

Have you ever asked God why? I bet we can all relate to that. Why is a question that is on our lips, especially mine, so often when we’re going through hard times. Why is this happening? Why can’t I seem to figure out what to do? Why can’t I catch a break? 

Why do I keep making the same mistake over and over again? Why aren’t you answering me? Why, why, why, what happened? I think the hard part about why is that we don’t always get an answer from God. 

Job in scripture demanded an answer from God. He lost everything, his kids, his servants, his cattle, his wealth, and his health and nobody around him could help him in his suffering. Job asked God why. He had been faithful and wanted to know why all this is happening. 

God chose not to answer Job and sometimes we don’t get an answer either. I think that that is what makes why so hard. I am a very practical and analytical person. I like for things to make sense. I like to know that if I do A, then the results gonna be B and C. 

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The hard part for me when walking through hard times is that uncertainty. When I was getting free from my abusive marriage and church the hardest thing for me was watching the hurt and the pain that my children were going though. 

I was working through my stuff and I was doing my own work but I felt like that was nothing compared to the heartache that I felt over my babies. They were innocent in this situation. They had done nothing to deserve what was going on. It was my choices and other people’s choices that opened the door to this pain.  

I felt guilty about it for a long time and my question for God was why. Why did I have to watch my boys’ hearts break? Why did they have no friends? Why did I have to watch them get hurt? Why didn’t God keep us safe from all this stuff? 

I can remember being so angry with God. I was prepared to face the consequences of my sin. But I drew the line when it came to my kids and I wanted to know why. I can remember literally clenching my fist, sobbing uncontrollably with heart racing demanding an answer from God. 

He didn’t answer, not in the way that I wanted him. What I learned in that situation was that there are always reasons for suffering. You don’t suffer in vain, God is not sitting up in heaven trying to figure out how to make your life miserable just for the fun of it. 

Why God Allows Pain and Suffering: Awareness of Sin

One reason that God allows pain and suffering is to make you aware of sin. In my life, I have learned to start with a self-check. I start asking myself is there something that I did, is there a choice or a decision or a pattern of sin that has put me on the path to be in this situation. 

Sometimes, if I truly and honestly ask myself that question and I take enough time to just search my heart and listen to the Lord, I can pinpoint something that led me to that path. Sometimes the only way that God can get us to take a good look at ourselves is to allow hard things to come into our lives. 

He doesn’t do this to make you feel bad. God does not delight in the pain and the hurt that his children go through. He does this because, as your Heavenly Father, he knows that if you’re going to grow spiritually you have to deal with the sin that’s in your life. 

You can’t grow closer to God if you’re holding onto sin, bad habits, bad choices, and bad patterns. You need to repent and the only way that you can repent of something is if you’re made aware of it. 

Why God Allows Pain and Suffering: You Can’t Do it Alone

The second reason that God allows pain and suffering is to show you that you cannot do this alone. I have become such a big advocate of community for good times and for bad times. I shared before how church hurt that drove me away from community. 

As I have healed and grown over the years, I cannot tell you the number of times that I needed my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ to hold me up to pray for me when I was so hurt and upset that I couldn’t form the words to pray for myself.

Or when I’ve been having a really bad day and I’m ready to throw in the towel when I get a text or an email saying,  “Hey, I just was thinking about you. I want you to know that I’m praying for you. I love you and I’m here for you.” God would put me on people’s minds in those moments when I needed it the most. 

The temptation when times are hard is to isolate. You want to pull away because you’ve experienced hurt or you’re ashamed of what’s going on in your life. I want to encourage you to resist that temptation. God created us to be in fellowship with each other. 

Even in the Garden of Eden, before the fall. He gave Adam Eve because he shouldn’t be by himself. We need each other. We need our brothers and sisters in Christ. It keeps us strong, it helps keep us in the fight, and when you are at the point where you’re like I cannot go on anymore, you need to have people that you can reach out. 

People that will come and check on you, and you’re not going to get that if you keep youself isolated from community.

Why God Allows Pain and Suffering: Bring You Closer to Him

The third reason that God allows pain and suffering is to bring you closer to him. I believe that God’s ultimate goal is a deeper relationship with you. 

I am a very hard-headed child. I like to say that I have a Ph.D. in the School of Hard Knocks because I learn things the hard way. I am going to try to do it my way and do it my way, and do it my way and do it my way, and then finally I’ll be like OK, Lord, I guess I can do it the way you told me to. 

In my life, and in so many lives that we see in the men and women in scripture, God uses hard times to get our attention. When things are going great, we’re not so quick to turn to God. We don’t necessarily pray like we know we should or serve and show up like we know we should. 

The second that something hard comes it’s different. You remember you need Jesus. You’re asking everyone for prayer. You might run back to church or join a bible study. That is exactly where I found myself in that tantrum that I told you about at the beginning of the post.

When I was screaming at God because I wanted to know why, that was the point that I needed to get to so that I could be closer to God. Because at that point I was done fixing things. I was was ready to lay down that burden where it belonged at the foot of the cross. 

I know that people like to say that God never gives you more than you can bear. That’s a lie! That’s not what that verse means and it’s not the truth. God often allows things to become more than we can bear because it reminds us that we need Him, especially when things are hard. 

You have to get to the point where you can surrender your need for control and truly give it to God and not take it back. Don’t decide to take it back and try to fix it again when you think God’s taking too long. Let it go because when you finally take your hands off of stuff God gets to do what he does best. 

He gets to work things out for your good. He gets to show off his amazing power and unending love for you, even when you’re messing up. That’s what he gets to do when we get out of the way. 

Remember that the safest place to be is close to God, in his arms. When you go to God with your questions, because I’m not telling you to not ask those questions, ask God whatever you want. That’s what he’s there for. You can always go to God with whatever is on your mind or heart. 

He can take it. He already knows. So, use those questions to go closer to God. When you want to know why tell him that, pray and talk to him, and listen for what he wants to speak to your heart. 

Dig into scripture and see if there any time where something similar happened and study what God did in that situation. Don’t let your questions become this big obstacle that keeps you from going to God, because that is going to leave you in a place where you are vulnerable to attack.

You become easy pickings for the enemy and you don’t want to do that. When you’re asking don’t get so upset or disappointed in either the answer or the non-answer that you stop going to God. Be like a child. 

Every time you have a question or a thought that you don’t understand go to God. Climb in his lap, and pour your heart out, because he’s not going to punish you for asking why. He knows that things are hard. 

He knows that things don’t make sense. The one thing that he wants is exactly what you need: for you to come to him. He wants to wrap his arms around you, love on you, comfort you, and let you know that he’s there.

Other Helpful Resources:

• The Key to Discerning the Voice of God
• How to Develop a Prayer Strategy
• Finding Your Identity in Christ

Understanding why God allows pain and suffering can help you learn how to trust him more.