I enjoy my life as a single mom. I know that may seem like an odd statement, but it is true.
In the beginning of this journey I focused on all the negatives. I would look around my home and only see the empty chairs and broken promises. I would watch as other children enjoyed time with both their parents and ache for the lack of that in my boys’ lives. It was really hard in the beginning.
And honestly, it’s not that things have gotten easier for me on this journey. I’ve just had a change in perspective.
Over the last 10+ years I have learned that the key to finding joy in your situation is all about perspective. When I spent all my time looking at all the things I didn’t have or things I wished I had, I missed out on all the good stuff that was right there in front of me. The moment I decided to look at things with fresh eyes I was able to start trading my heartache for hope and happiness!
3 Ways to Find Joy in Your Trial
I really struggled with embracing the idea that I was a single mom. It was not something I ever dreamed of becoming and it just didn’t feel like it fit me. The problem was that I was hanging my identity on the word “single” and I was ignoring the mom part.
It took me a while but I finally learned the importance of finding my identity in Christ and focusing on the blessings in my life instead of the hard circumstances. I’m not going to tell you that life won’t have challenges, but remember to enjoy your children.
Don’t miss out on the joy of raising them (and enjoying them) because you are so focused on the lack in your life.
I have been completely blown away by all the different ways that God has provided for us since becoming a single mom. There have been meals, gift cards, clothes, a place to stay when we were homeless, and more!
Every time I thought things were as bad as they could get, God stepped in and worked a miracle. I know it can be hard to remember in those dark moments, but God has not forgotten about you!
Give people the opportunity to bless your family. Let them show you the love of God here on earth! Knowing that people are there for you and in your corner is a great way to find joy in your situation.
You are NOT Alone!
I have sat in church brokenhearted over the empty seat in the pew. I watched at the playground as fathers chased their boys around the jungle gym and pushed their little girls on the swings. I have felt the ache of hopelessly watching beautiful pregnant mamas walk around with life growing in their bellies.
No one understands you. No one is there for you. You are all alone!
The lies whispered often to our hearts are just that. Lies. We have to battle against the darkness of loneliness by telling Satan to shut up and get out of our way. Because the truth is that we are not alone!
If you are struggling with feeling alone right now, I want to encourage your weary heart. It can be very hard to stand up against this lie but you can do this!
In my darkest moments I can also find comfort in the pages of my Bible. Those years of loneliness are no different. Here’s a few to get you started:
- Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
- For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in. Psalm 27:10
- Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Psalm 25:16
- So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
- A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
I like to write out scriptures on index cards and keep them close to me. I also keep a list in my prayer journal and notebook. If you need to, say them out loud! Don’t be afraid to yell at Satan from time to time. Throw the Truth at him and he will flee!
God is not surprised by your circumstance. He knows exactly where you are, what you are going through, and how He will walk with you through the trial. He will provide all that you need and in ways that you cannot even imagine!